The tension was building up between my wife and I with regards to the way we wanted to develop our son. Yew Ann has Global Developmental Delay (GDD). He crawled at his 15th month (instead of 6-8 months) and walked at his 28th month (instead of 10-15 months).
One day, I caught myself getting frustrated with my wife for holding Yew Ann’s hand when they were walking in front of me. I insisted that she should let go so that Yew Ann could be independent at a faster rate since he was already much slower than his peers.
“Hee Guan, something must be wrong for you to stop a nurturing mother from loving and caring for her son”, I reflected.
I, therefore, helped my wife to unlocked her Gallup StrengthsFinder 2.0 34 theme sequence and we had our couple retreat in the southernmost point of continental Asia (Sentosa’s Palawan beach). Yes, the Baptism of StrengthsFIRE enlightened us:
- wife’s Harmony wants to hear from everyone before she acts but my Activator prefers to act first, then listen to others along the way
- wife’s Adaptability flows with the dynamic circumstances but my Futuristic stays focused on the agreed direction to reach our long-term destiny
- wife’s Restorative likes to surface & fix all the presenting problems but my Self-Assurance do not think that there is any real problem
- wife’s Empathy adjusts her approach based on Yew Ann’s emotional state but my Command prefers to direct Yew Ann’s development
And the list of our theme contrast went on and on. Our dominant themes were totally different. Instead of appreciating my wife’s uniqueness, I had put on a bias Strengths filter by insisting she should develop Yew Ann according to my preferred way. I repented and after our reconciliation, StrengthsTransform-ation started to take place in our parenting and our marriage.